This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
