The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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