Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
