What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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