We're facebook friends in real life
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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