there was a trapeze. enough said
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
