there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
