I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize