We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my shit smells like andre
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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