So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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