Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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