drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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