the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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