Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
