one might say we're banned from that church
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
