he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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