Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
