sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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