Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
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I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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