Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
