Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
