Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
