All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
