so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
