My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
