hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
