Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river