I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
