sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
