He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i drank out of a bidet.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
