Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
