hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
