we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
