shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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