hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
only if we run a train.
done.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
