You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have fence marks all over my body
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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