I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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