its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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