It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
