The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
