Kiss
Puke
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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