I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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