I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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