There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
