No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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