we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
