there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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