Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
