And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
two words...techno handjob
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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