Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
