SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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