Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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