honey bunches of taint.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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