it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
