How'd it feel making her break her religion?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
