He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
