another moral hangover. fuck.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
