Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Say something about gay babies.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
