I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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