Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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